How do we spot and deal
with a serial dater when
dating people
Dating people can be tough. Ever went on a date with a charming, good-looking love interest had a few good times with lots of laughs only to be suddenly dropped or at minimum certainly not the attraction you hoped to be even though you thought everything was going great. If you've been dating people for a time you probably have and you have almost definitely met a serial dater. These types of individuals come across extremely interesting and interested but the attention soon wanes and you wonder what has happened. There could be a number of reasons why these behaviours have manifested but ultimately it is probably because they are a personality type that suffers with relationship avoidance. To help identify these people they have a number of behaviours that they will show pretty quickly as you try to build a relationship with them.
Dating People Watch Outs
They Trivialise Intimacy
Stating that they don’t like needy people even if you don’t feel you have asked for too much, they may well put this on the table very early on hiding it as a simple part of their character that they think you should know. They may also belittle others, making comments on others relationships using such words as tied down, shackles or hen pecked. As you try to develop a level of closeness it seems to go no further than a shallow exchange. This is a sign that they want closeness but only when they require it and don’t want to have deeper closeness, this makes them nervous that a real relationship could be forming
Emotional Puddle
If you have spent a long time with a serial dater you may suddenly realise you know little about them, this is a typical behaviour of not sharing, this allows the serial dater to finish the relationship move more easily when they are ready. They come across emotionally strong when dealing with emotions but quickly revert to questioning if you are getting all emotional. The emotional strength is actually a control mechanism used to control the intimacy level and allow them not to connect. Your emotions are real and should never be questioned.
A prize in a contest
When entering into an intimate moment or sharing closeness they quickly revert to telling you the way it is going to be, even if the last time it was different. The rules continuously change so you never know where you are with them and it always plays out their way. If you put your foot down and demand a compromise they are gone, not interested.
The dream partner
When dating people this is classed as the biggest sign of a dating flirt. They talk about their perfect partner or
perfect love, painting a picture that no one could ever live up to. They have probably never got over their ex and talk about how
good it could have been. This is setting a scene that you will never be able to
live up to, giving another easy option out when they want to move
on.
Dealing With The Dating Flirt:
When dating people remember the serial dater or dating flirt is not a monster just an
individual who has a very confused character make up and may or may not know
what they are doing. One thing is for sure if these behaviours continue through life
they will never find a lasting partner.
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